
Experience the wonder of words by focusing on the
Latin and Greek elements used in English
with your
Senior Scribe a.k.a. John Robertson
Table of Contents
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These statements were found on actual products. Really! Why? Is it ignorance on the part of companies or is this something out of Instructions for Dummies? Not all of them are blunders in English.
The warning labels are real because some companies are afraid of being abused by frivolous lawsuits that U.S. courts should be throwing out without further consideration. Instead, it is costing consumers millions of dollars because companies are actually required by law to pay large sums for nonsense lawsuits and, of course, these costs are passed on to those who buy their products. Robert Dorigo Jones, president of the Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, a consumer advocacy group says, Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-happy times.
Contributed by: Doron
- On hairdryer instructions
Do not use while sleeping.
- On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
- On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
- Frozen dinner that says:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
- On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
- On Tescos Tiramisu dessert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the
bottom of the box)
- On Marks & Spencer bread pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
- On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
- On Boots (pharmacy chain in the UK) childrens cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery after use.
- On Nytol:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
- On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
- On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
- On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
- On Sainsburys peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
- On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
As seen in Joke of the Day!
Date: Tue, 27 Oct 1998
From: Geoffrey (Jeff) Nickerson
Reply-To: Please send non-copyrighted jokes to
Organization:AllWorld Internet Services
To: JokeLovers@allworld.net
I heard this one via the radio [J.R.]:
Label on a baby stroller (British, pram):
Remove your child before folding the stroller for storage.
The following were found on the Internet [J.R.]:
A Batman costume carried a warning stating:
PARENT: Please exercise caution.
FOR PLAY ONLY.
Mask and chest plate are not protective. Cape does not enable user to fly.
A plastic sled advises users to wear helmets and to avoid trees, rocks, or man-made obstacles.
It also states: This product does not have brakes.
Addicted to Milk
A self-described milk-a-holic is suing the dairy industry, claiming that a lifetime of drinking whole milk contributed to his clogged arteries and a minor stroke. Norman Mayo, 61, believes he might have avoided his health problems if he had been warned on milk cartons about fat and cholesterol. I drank milk like some people drink beer or water, he said. Ive always loved a nice cold glass of milk, and Ive drank [sic] a lot of it.
The Associated Press, 6/6/97.
Milk Lawsuit - Featured in Jay Lenos Tonight Show [a Talk-Show Host and comedian on American T-V].
As Jay Leno noted in his monologue on June 10, 1997, Heres another reason why Americans hate lawyers. A man in suburban Seattle is suing the dairy industry because hes become addicted to milk and it has raised his cholesterol to dangerous levels. Its just as dangerous as tobacco. The government should have warning labels on milk, in fact this is the proposed warning label:
WARNING: TOO MUCH MILK CAN MAKE YOU
A FRIVOLOUS-LAWSUIT FILING MORON.
First, the results of the principal/principle survey.
Would you like to see if the mnemonic devices I have given to you function properly? If so, just click on this self-grading Principle-Principal Quiz to see how easy it is to spell these words correctly.Next, a few words about the use of mnemonic devices that make it easier to remember how to spell certain words correctly.
Although many subscribers had different mnemonic devices for determining which principal/principle to use in a sentence, the best mnemonics to use seem to be main for principal and rule for principle. Note the relationship of the a in main and principal and the le in rule and principle. Always make these relationships and you will always use them correctly.
Mnemonic [pronounced, nee MAH nik], as in mnemonic device, comes from the Greek element that means, memory or to remember and refers to a technique that facilitates making the right choices for words that are otherwise confusing.
Whenever you want to make sure you have chosen the correct principal/principle, substitute the words main and rule in place of one or the other principal/principle, to see if it makes sense and when it does; it is certain that you have the right choice. For example, in number one, you could say, The rule reason for this discussion .... or say, The main reason for this discussion .... and you would logically have to choose main or principal because the other choice simply doesnt make any sense.
So many people have used the mnemonic device of saying, You spell the principal of the school with pal because he/she is your pal or something similar to that. I strongly urge that you NOT use this mnemonic because it can be very misleading. It tends to make people think that the use of pal is used only with that particular principal. It is far better to say that the principal of the school is spelled with pal because he/she is the MAIN administrator, teacher, or educator of the school.
Did you notice the erratum in sentence number seven of the survey. Mea culpa. I used install instead of instill into the minds .... Congratulations to nine subscribers (out of the 412 who participated) who saw and told me about this error (erratum). If there had been more than one erratum, then I would have had to confess to errata.
Thank you, if you were one of those who contributed to the survey. It was amazing to see that MOST of the participants made no errata in their submissions. I apparently have a VERY knowledgeable list of subscribers!
[Editors note: Theres always at least one joker as shown by the first reader/writer].
1. The principal reason for this discussion is to decrease ones spelunking spills.
2. Some of us should live by no particular moral principles; I live by the immoral Principal Corruthers.
3. The principal character in the play is ill.
4. His political principles are not acceptable.
5. As a matter of principle, he refused to borrow money from anyone over three meters tall who fancied avocados.
6. The principal invested in that project was $100, 000, 000, 000.
7. We must install computer chips into the hypothalamusi of our youth which will instill principles of honesty and morality and the urge to vote Republican.
By Michael McK in Watertown
I hope that my cooperation will be of help. I cant wait to read what this is all about...and to hear from you regarding how I scored.
-Christine C.
I know I dont have to make any comments but I have to say that this was a real eye opener. I felt as if I was back in school.
Susan E.
Just wanted to add a note of thanks. Ive really been enjoying your messages.
Veronica P
Dear John, Many thanks for your efforts. I just wanted to let you know I always look forward to your newsletters.
Sincerely,
Leila
It might be of interest for the purposes of your survey that I am not, in fact, a native English speaker; my mother tongue is German.
[Ed. note: All of your answers were correct].
Hendrik
I learned these differences in 5th grade! - The princiPAL of the school is our PAL - hes a number-one (principal) guy; Ill admit cheating on number 6 - Ive probably spelt it wrong all my life!
Best,
Diane P.
The principal pal of the principal..... came in useful.
Joy B.
Bravo for tackling this one. Why not try lay and lie; my students love to confuse those two also. And believe it or not, they mix up the plural of this and that.
Virginia B.
Are you trying to make a point about our countrys lack of principles?
Shilo P-E
Interesting examples. Using one word or the other changes the meaning of the sentences in interesting ways. But I guess principle cant be used as an adjective?
Sharon V.
After the quiz, I checked the dictionary on my PC, and I was in for a rude awakening. I certainly have a better understanding of the two words, because I did not realize that principal had a monetary meaning. Ill not forget the definition anytime soon.
best regards,
Wayne H.
(aka 10 degrees below a rock)
Hi, John.
This is a good idea. I look forward to learning the results. I suggest you test us with affect/effect and stationary/stationery. Others, doubtless, would be useful, but none comes to mind. On another topic, how about a test for subject/verb agreement, like none-is/none-are or data-is/data-are.
Thanks for your work.
Frank P.
Hi John,
I just mentally replaced principal with main and principle with scruples and made my choices based on that. I paused on #6, but I stayed with the same definitions, because you have the main money (principal) and the interest, which is earned from it.
Ann C.
After looking at these sentences, I can easily see that many folks could be quite confused. It was a fun mental workout.
Carol
Hello Mr. John Robertson,
Thank you very much for allowing me to join your Focusing on Words Newsletter. I am Japanese. I am trying to learn English.
Masamichi O.
[Ed. note: Masamichi answered ALL of them correctly.]
Hey John, this is tougher than it first appears! Good challenge! Bestest,
Gordon
[Editor: When asked what system this subscriber used to choose the right princip--, his response was as follows].
John,
I dont think it qualifies as a system, but heres my thought process: I know that one of the words refers to abstract decision-making guidelines for things like morals, ethics, professional decisions, etc., and I know that that word isnt principal because Principal was the sign on the office door of the guy who ran my grade school, and I remember walking past that sign in the first grade and thinking Hes no pal of mine.
The logic doesnt track, but I walk through this little personal memory each time I have to distinguish between these two words, and it seems to get me to the right answer.
I rely on an obscure personal memory to determine that principal does not refer to abstract values and decision-making guidelines. If principal doesnt refer to them, then principle does.
Hope this helps.
Dave
I used the word principle anytime it was talking about ones moral belief system. Principles are beliefs or values. I used the word principal meaning the central or main thing. Also, principal means an amount of money.
I teach 6th grade language arts and math. My boss is a principal with few principles.
Mark C. G.
The oldest trick in the book. My high school principal, who is the main person in the school, is my pal. Works for nouns and works for adjectives. The only one I wasnt sure of was principle/principal meaning money in the bank. I made a good guess (or inference.)
jme
Another article about Denglish this one from the Berlin Journal which has a Copyright of 1998, of The New York Times Company and was written on December 6, 1998. Sent in by Douglas B. in Berlin.
The same article also appeared in the International Herald Tribune, on December 7, 1998, with the title, Germany Debates Denglisch
Some parts of the article from the Journal include the following (partly edited to make it shorter) :
- Berlin Has a Word for Its Ambitions: English by Roger Cohen.
- The fight to be the leading newspaper of the city with ambitions to be Europes new capital is a ferocious one, so when executives at the Berliner Morgenpost sat down recently to dream up a new advertising slogan, they thought long and hard. What they came up with was:Simply the Best.
- Not Einfach besser, German for the same idea, but Simply the Best, as in Tina Turners popular song. Our target group was young people, said Rolf Buer, the papers marketing manager, and this slogan was young, fresh, simple and sure to get people talking. German words are just too long.
- That may seem an unjust accusation to level at Einfach besser, but it is true that if precision is a hallmark of the German vocabulary, brevity is not. In any event, the issue is clearly a broader one, for the English encroachment on Deutsch has assumed epic proportions, giving rise to a form of speech widely known as Denglisch.
- Consider this city, whose passion for reinventing itself is very much of the New World. As you drive past posters advertising Volkswagens New Beetle (not Der neue Kafer), you may hear a radio advertisement for an Audi that gives you die power, only to see a newspaper headline about Germanys lack of jobs (forget arbeit), as the radio turns to a discussion of Berliners growing attraction for the American way of life.
- English, of course, is advancing everywhere, propelled by the Internet and the dominance of American popular culture. It is the most widely studied foreign language in German schools, where most children start learning it at age 11. Its advance appears particularly marked here, strong enough to set off a debate on what it is to be a German.
- I dont like to think in terms of national borders, said Ulrich Veigel, head of the Bates advertising agency in Germany. I live in Germany, and was born here, but Im a citizen of the world, and that is the way we should all think. In the medium-term, nationalities have no chance.
- English, Veigel continued, is a wonderful language precisely because it is the most cosmopolitan. I look forward to the day, he said, when I go to France and do not have to speak French.
- Until that day -- some way off if the Academie Francaise has anything to do with it -- Veigel will be pushing his message in Germany, where the Bates agency is responsible for the current campaign of the cargo division of the national airline, Lufthansa. Slogan: Thinking in new directions. It is also promoting a new German telephone company called First Telecom with the jingle You cant beat the First.
- Such catchwords clearly reflect a perception that Germans see English as more contemporary or modish. New Beetle sounds more hip than neue Kafer, said Sabina Metzner of Volkswagen. We wanted to make clear that the Beetle might have some resemblances to the old Kafer, but it is very much a modern car.
- The Social Democrat Gerhard Schroeder, devoted much of a recent summit meeting with French leaders to the issue of defending Franco-German culture against the cultural pull of America through the establishment of a new Franco-German university in Saarbrucken and other measures.
- Of course, France and Germany have a basic problem: the unfettered, dynamic, creative culture of California is more attractive to many young people than European societies often identified with high unemployment and rigidity.
- The young want to hear English, said Buer of the Berliner Morgenpost. Its seen as free and flexible.
- Besides, he noted, if the Berliner Morgenpost had chosen Einfach besser instead of Simply the Best as a slogan, it might have violated the German law known as the Unzulassige Alleinstellung, which forbids sweeping assertions of superiority in advertising.
- We would have had to answer a lot of questions, Buer said. Better than who? Better than what? Why better? Better in what precise respect? It was just too much bother, whereas in English we could do what we wanted.
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